My Crash

My Accident

At the end of June my whole work team was made redundant. Whereas most people would see this as a bad thing and yes the lack of income wasn’t nice, I personally saw this as an opportunity to get some amazing training in, especially during the day.

For the next 3 weeks I was getting some nice long trail runs, rides and open water swims during the middle of the day into my training regime. Life was great. However that all changed on July 24.

I set off for a ride on my new bike “The Black Fern” and my aim was to get atleast a 90 minute ride in, and ride a course I’d never been before. I decided to head to Mount Cootha and to the infamous backside. This was a lot harder than the front as it just kept going, however I made it to the top, took the obligatory picture of the view and headed back down.

I went down easier than usual, as there was more in the way of tourist traffic than when I would ride that same hill at 5am. However I would have still easily got to 50km/h at parts. Time for a simple ride through South Bank and then home again.

All was going well, heading down Cornwall Street, maybe 1500m from home I had to stop for a red light and BANG! I don’t know exactly what happened but it felt like my wheel came out from underneath me and I was thrown over the handle bars. I hit the ground hard, laying in front of my bike for a ew seconds I looked over and saw 2 cars beside me and I shouted a few profanities as I was in a fair amount of pain.

I got up, picked up my bike, went to the side of the road and crouched down in the shade for a minute or two for the shock to subside slightly. I hurt all over, but my left shoulder hurt the most. There was no way I could get back on my bike so I figured the easiest way was to walk my bike home. As I started to walk, I noticed that I really needed to hold my left arm up as that shoulder really hurt.

Crossing the road I noticed that the bike was really beat up and there was some form of issue with the wheel.

Tears began to roll down my face, not only had I come off but it looked like my brand new bike was ruined and I had no income to replace it. The struggle was real, it wasn’t rolling well and I could carry it home as well as look after that shoulder.

I found a good bush to hide my bike, cycling shoes and helmet in, so I could walk home a little easier, grab my car and come and pick it all up.

I made a few phone calls to a few friends to say I’d just had a crash. I was fading in and out a little in the calls “I won’t be . . . able to make . . . it to lunch” I was still a little upbeat, like it could have been worse, I could have been dead or broken a bone right? Both friends told me that I really needed to go to hospital as I sounded very concussed and that it probably wasn’t a good idea for me to drive there.

Looking back I should have either caught an Ambulance or atlas an Uber to get home first.

When I arrived at home I figured they were right and rather than grabbing my car I got a bike lock and packed a bag to take to hospital, including food, a drink bottle, ID etc. ordered an Uber and off we went. The driver was great, we stopped at my bike, I picked up my helmet and shoes to take to hospital and the driver locked my bike to a tree so that I would be able to collect it later.

Arriving at hospital was amusing. I know that any form of head injury is supposed to take priority. However there were only 2 in the queue in front of me so I could wait. A lady told me to put my stuff down on the seat beside her so I could focus on what I was doing as I was swaying a lot. Her young daughter looked at my helmet and saw the cracks on the inside so I told her “I was very lucky, if I didn’t have that on. Those cracks would have been in my head” The mother seemed quite appreciative as this lesson may scare her daughter into never riding without a helmet.

When at the front counter the nurse stipulated that I should have arrived via ambulance and within no more than a minute of getting to the window, I was being whisked away through the doors to see the team of doctors.

At first I was seated, everything was fine, but my preference was to hold my left shoulder up by putting my left hand on my right shoulder. They started the X-rays and gave me some heavy pain killers. But as soon as they went to move me to get a different angle for the X-Ray things changed “Can I just lay back please, I feel like I might need to go to sleep and/ or spew”

A needle went into my wrist with some form of liquid and suddenly the urge for spewing had gone, but there was no way I wanted to sit up, so the next scans were all done while I was laying down. Soon after that I was wheeled into the next room for the MRI, More chemicals were pumped in to help the scan, one of which made you feel like your wet yourself.

The MRI was a different experience. Normally I don’t suffer from claustrophobia, but this was an all new experience and being strapped into the machine not being able to move with something so close to your head “I think I might just close my eyes and imagine that I’m somewhere else.”

Off to a room to wait for results etc, time to let everyone know. I posted a video on Instagram and Facebook, this was a lot easier than trying to type the message and let people know I was OK, the support I got from everyone was amazing, however then the news came.

I had fractured my left Clavicle and Scapula as well as having a concussion, however no immanent brain damage. The recovery time I was told was up to 3 months until I could train again and up to 6 months before I could race again. There goes my dreams of representing my country at the age group world champs next year.

I got released and my good friend Greta came and collected me. She treated me so well, grabbing my bike and getting my script for oxycodone on the way to my place. I was very appreciative of this as I was in agony and still very dazed so I was planning on Ubering home but that would have been hard, especially stopping at the pharmacy etc on the way.

A few days went by and I was feeling a little better, trying to minimise my pain killer usage as I had been told that they were very addictive and I didn’t want to feel like a Zombie so I could drive and be a little more mobile.

As the days turned into weeks, people were still messaging me but I was feeling more sorry for myself, I hadn’t found the right job yet (I was really hoping to get one in particular working with the endeavour foundation, however they were dragging that process out for five weeks longer than necessary, and then it never turned out to be anything like we had originally agreed to anyway) I was extremely bored and my emotions were really waning on me. For the past few years I had used exercise for multiple reasons: fitness, boredom, social life and lastly I also used it to clear my head and release endorphins.

Without the exercise to make me feel better I found a tried and tested friend of alcohol and eating to replace this and make me feel better. As I wasn’t working I would go out to lunch with friends and have a drink or 2 while at lunch but then head home and have more drinks, most days of the week.

Within a 5 weeks of my crash I had gained 5kg and a slight drinking problem again. I was feeling really down, and without work or exercise to socialise I was feeling quite lonely most of the time, there were a lot of people who may have been there for me, but that didn’t stop the loneliness I was feeling on the inside.

This crash did many things to me and not just physically, the worst was probably emotionally and psychologically. If something like this ever happens to you or anyone you know, reach out, and not just at the start, but make sure you reach out until things are like they were beforehand. I struggled seeing everyone being able to do what they were doing and knowing that I couldn’t and wouldn’t be able to for months to come.

I was lucky that I made sure I didn’t get addicted to the pain killers but my demon of alcohol reared its head again.